Am i dating a serial monogamist

It feels safer to be in a relationship, even if it doesn't actually last 'til death."I was brought up to admire couples who stayed together for a long time," says Erin Hastings, a graduate student of psychology.

I went on my first date when my high school sweetheart turned 16, I was 15.

For serial monogamists like me, codependency is the unfortunate byproduct of a relationship.

When you’re dependent on someone else, or someone else’s happiness, for your own, you don’t know how else to make yourself happy.

But I thought I could be cool about the third party in our relationship; the second I started Facebook-stalking him, I realized I couldn't.

From across the country, social media let me watch Zach's other relationship unfold in photos, comments, posts and tweets, like a movie I couldn't tear my eyes from.

Looking back at my track record, it’s hard for me to tell how much was coincidence and how much was pathological.

Empirical evidence shows that lifelong romantic partnerships have only existed in a handful of civilizations, coming in at around 20 percent of human relationships.

(The percentage shrinks when we take all mammals into account, which takes us down to about 3 percent.) In , David Barash and Judith Lipton explain that expecting to stay with one mate for life goes against some of the deepest evolutionary inclinations that biology has given us. In the book, Barash and Lipton also point out that we humans are incredibly flexible in terms of relationship lifestyles, which makes us pretty unusual in comparison to our other mammalian friends. If Barash and Lipton are right, then is serial monogamy some kind of a compromise between our happily-ever-after expectations and our evolutionary tendencies?

At that time, a relationship ended in which I was totally crushed, and frankly I wasn’t ready for a relationship afterward. I told myself that I was born to be with someone else and that this stupid experiment was a masochistic game I was torturing myself with.

I found myself trying to get into a relationship right away, as if by habit or a defense mechanism, but nothing clicked. One year turned into three, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

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I had very little idea of how to make myself happy because before I was able to turn to my relationship for comfort, like a drug addict going to their fix. The withdrawals are strong, but you make it through.

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